maaf, aku bisanya cuma minta, ngambek, marah, nangis, putus asa,

dan mengecewakan.
maaf banget ma, pa. :(

dan sebelum kamu benar.benar.benar pergi, bisa minta tolong sekaliiii lagi.. ?

bisa kan ?

tolong, setidaknya kasih tau aku harus gimana sekarang ?

pliis ya ? ditunggu secepatnya. terimakasih banyak. *wipe tears

di sini ku menggenggam takdir di tanganku
aku coba menahan tak menangisimu
di bait pertama

di bait pertama

sekuat kaki ini mencoba berlari
tetapi hati ini menuntunnya kembali
ke bait pertama

di bait pertama

berjalan hidupku tanpamu
hidupku tanpamu 

di bait pertama

berjalan hidupku tanpamu, hidupku tanpamu
bertahan karna menantimu, untuk menantimu di bait pertama

di sini ku menggenggam takdir di tanganku
aku coba menahan tak menangisimu
di sini ku menggenggam takdir di tanganku
aku coba menahan tak menangisimu

merinding ndenger lagu ini. asal kamu tau ya, bukannya gamau jujur, tapi aku takut kehilangan (lagi). beneran takut. jadi biar saja seperti ini. :)

apa harus mirip supaya cocok ?
apa harus satu keyakinan supaya cocok ?
apa harus sepemikiran supaya cocok ?

apa harus punya banyak kesamaan supaya cocok ?

apa harus suka hal yang sama supaya cocok ?

kalau semua jawabannya IYA,
berarti kita TIDAK cocok..

......

“bip… bip… bip… bip…”. Ada sebuah panggilan masuk. Dia buru-buru mengangkatnya.

“Halo?”

“Aku akan membunuhmu.” kata suara di seberang.

“Halo, ini siapa?” dia mulai gugup.

“Aku akan membunuhmu.”

“Halo, ini siapa?” tubuhnya gemetar.

“Ini rindu.”

from here

pernah berpikir kalau cinta itu jahat ?

ia meremukkan hatimu hingga hancur berkeping

ia menusukmu dari belakang dengan perlahan dan dalam

bisa bayangkan sakit dan perihnya ?

ia membuatmu menjerit histeris dan menangis pilu bermalam.malam saat ia pergi begitu saja meninggalkanmu dan bertingkah seolah tidak terjadi apa.apa

pernah berpikir kenapa kamu masih bisa bertahan ?

pura.pura kuat dan berkata 'aku tidak apa.apa' sambil tersenyum miris menahan tangis

siapa yang memberimu kekuatan sebesar itu ?

cinta.

cinta yang memberimu kekuatan 

ia mengujimu begitu berat, tapi menjadikanmu kuat

karena kalau ia tidak jahat, kamu pasti lemah dan mudah patah

jadi, berterimakasihlah padanya, yang sudah pernah jahat dan mengira kamu akan jatuh

ia salah. salah besar !

sedang labil dan galau, sekarang apa lagi ? patah hati ?

suka. sangat suka. sangat suka sekali.

cukup kah buatmu ?

bulan ini aku lagi melarat ! :@

terlalu banyak pengeluaran, sedikit pemasukan -.-

buku, lks, buber.buber, dan laper mata yang gak sembuh.sembuh*sigh

sedang dalam tahap nabung buat beli hape, yang sekarang udah rusak parah dan aku sekarang gapunya hapeee :')

maunya minta uang mamapapa, tapi sungkan, udah bolak.balik minta bulan ini, yang dipikirin ga cuma butuhku.

andai aja bisa cepet kerja dan punya uang cukup buat kebutuhanku sendiri, pasti enak.

makanya sekarang belajar yang pinter, biar jadi dokter. amin :)

i dont know why, everytime i hear this song, i hear a little whisper from my mind, it say 'that's really match on you, isnt it ?'
aaa.. :'( that's really hard to say 'yes', but it waaass.. ohmy ~.~

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along, yeah
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved


Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

Yeah,
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Try so hard to say goodbye

kita kumpul disekolah kira-kira jam 2an, setelah mbulet.mbulet bentar kita berangkat, yang cewek sama pak kelana naik mobil damai. yang cowok naik mobil devis. di mobilnya damai lumayan longgar dan kita dihibur supirnya damai yang super sksd dan sangat sok kenal ~.~. setelah lewat jalan yang naik turun kayak roller coaster kita sampai juga di vilanya jakaa.. adeem dan pemandangannya bagus banget :). mulai rusuh lagi, mulai dari cari kamar, mandi, ngerampok cemilan, ada.ada aja gitu bahan guyon.nya.. ckckck :D

burek -.-

sore jam 4an anak.anak pada main basket tapi pake bola sepak karena keterbatasan sarana, yang cewek.cewek pada foto.foto. terus anak cowok pada nonton bola dan yang cewek dikacangi onn, kasian. kita disuruh mandi terus mau makan malem, aku gamandi, dingin banget. habis makan kita nonton tivi, maunya nonton big bro, mirip kita katanya hhaha :) tapi, karena antena yang kurang bersahabat kita jadi males deh nonton big bro. anak.anak pada rusuh dewe.dewe, dan pada mau 'pijet kalimantan' katanya, aku gatau apaapa.an itu, dan dengan berani limpat menawarkan diri "aku aja yang dipijet !" dan anak cowok.cowok langsung tersenyum licik. ternyata itu mainan kejam dan tidak berperikemanusiaan. kasian limpat tapi sumpah semua ketawa sampek perut kram.. :D :D

korban pertama

day 1

i'm not going any where

stay at home with my cousin, she was so smart and very clique with me, she likes read novel and watch film, just like me.. we talk about anything and didnt run out topic :)

day 2
still rooten at hummy. but excited to prepare all things for the vacation with my beloved friends :)

day 3
head on tretes. we stay at jaka's vila. i cant sleep well that night because limpat being soo annoy :@ . learn some poker tricks from iid. eat to much snacks. sooo frezze there, i had stomach ache. we share 1 bed for 6 sexy girl.

day 4
we go to Taman Safari*hellyeah :D. we had so much fun there, taking a looot of picture*i'll share some next post. when they go to 'rumah hantu', i just wait outside and also can hear their scream. but i enjoyed the roller coaster and swing chair.. :). but so sad, we had to back to malang today. :'( :'( . i hate farewell moment. but dont worry, we had another vacation plans, right ? :)

day 5
i got up at 11 am. soo tired. but i want moree.. :D. my cousin had a wedding party at sidoarjo on saturday, they want me to be the 'kembar mayang' to complete the procession. we leave home at 3 pm, reach my granny house at 7 pm. whatthehell. i just wanna lay in bed.

day 6
soo busy with that wedding party. :(

day 7
back to my home hell sweet home. my sist stay on my granny house. my house feel soo roomy :).

day 8
visited mbak nita, who had motor crash a weeks ago with mbak lucy, mbak lanty, and yosepha. we had lunch at omah malang, recommened by fr. angger, such a nice place with nice food and of course nice price too :). that place was so unique, they write the price with million ex: 10ribu (10thousand) write by 10juta (10million). lol. we continued the trip to matos, i buy 2 novel for being my dear along this holiday. 'the lovely bones' and 'sang penunggang naga' :)

day 9
Happy Isra Mi'raj for anyone who celebrate it. :).
just back to my old style holiday. just stay at home. how bored is it.. :(

day 10
congratulations for all bro and sist who has accepted on SNMPTN test.
wish me luck next year ya ! :) .
today, me and my mom on a rush to get a form of senior high school test for my cousin.

day 11
shopping day with my mom. :) . go to elizabeth store, find some accesories and belt. then, go to MOG, buy school bag, dress, and some shirt. what a great day ! thanks for everything, mom. :*

day 12
whatthehell. i had MOS meeting with my OSIS commite, 'someone' make that day feel so stressfull and we feel so intimidated. hello sir ? we've tried to do the best, can you appreciate it ?

day 13
ROOTEN AT HOME !! SO BORED!!

day 14
i wanna watch movie, go to jatim park, need fresh air..
someone, please pick me up and dropped me to neverland !!
anyone ? 

It's maybe my late night post, i have watched 'letters to juliet' movie 15 mins. ago and decided to write about it. the story was soo great and touched. full of faith, love and believe of love spirit. this movie its like another version of romeo and juliet. the setting was mostly in paris, and that can supported the soul of the movie.

The fantasy starts early and back in New York, where Sophie is a fact checker for The New Yorker and is engaged to hot chef Victor. The two jet off to Verona as a pre-honeymoon, where Victor spends his time seeking out new Italian food suppliers, and Sophieis not interested in joining him on exclusive tours of boutique wineries or dairy farms. Instead Sophie moons around "Juliet's balcony" and watches women writing letters to the doomed heroine, eventually finding a 50-year-old letter written by Claire, heartbroken that she jilted the Italian man who was her one true love.

Claire came to Paris with his grandson, Charlie to find out who's replied her expired letter. Sophie was so happy can meet Claire, they both decided to find Lorenzo. But that's as not easy as they think. Charlie get upset eith his grandma's idea, but soon finds herself driving around the Italian countryside to help Charlie find Lorenzo. No one but Charlie takes the time to wonder if it's truly a good idea for an elderly woman to seek out a man she hasn't seen in 50 years, or to ask whether or not this Lorenzo. The seek aroud Siena and check all of 74 'Lorenzo'. They had a long journey and of course, Sophie and Charlie eventually start falling for each other, simply because that's what happens in this kind of movie; there's just no place for cynics in this world.

But, they were so confused with they feeling because Sophie had engaged. Finally, they both meet at Claire and Lorenzo wedding, they try to be honest to they self, that love never wrong.

I do love with some nice-romantic quotes from this movie

kala pikiran dan ucapan tak lagi sehati

semua pergi dan tak mau peduli

hari-hari penuh dengan tangis menyayat hati

siapa lagi yang mengerti hati ?

rasanya mau mati

kala semua cita berubah jadi ilusi
dan elegi terjadi lagi

lazy song - bruno mars

'cause today i swear i'm not doing anything' :)

what the hell - avril lavigne

'you're on your knees, beggin' please "stay with me". i'm thinking what the hell'

price tag - jessie j.

'why is everybody so serious ? acting so damn mysterious ?'

22mei2010, 

20.35an

'kamu d mana ? aku jaga stand sama temen.temenku'

'jauh amat, aku d dket pahlawan trip ini.. yang sabar ya nyarinya tante.. :)'

22.10an

'udah d rumah ? aku barusan pulang ini. capeek -.-'

'jd ketemu temenmu ?'

'sabar yaa.., maav tadi gabisa bareng kalian :)'

'gini wes, taun depan k mtd.nya sama.sama ya ? :)'

'oke deh, siip :D'

when i take a deep breathe, i can smell you 

when i keep on silence, i can hear your voice 

when i close my eyes, i saw you 

when i sleep, i'll dreaming about you

karena lelah denger mama cuap.cuap
"rambutmu kepanjangen kak"

"tuh kan rontok semua"

"sumuk mama liat.e"

"potongen ae wes, biar ringkes"

aku masih eman maaa.. -.-

mekso.e talah

tapi apa daya di seret ajak juga ke salon diiket di kursi biar gak kabur

si mama pengen kriting gantung *apalah namanya

and tadaaa..
gini jadinya..
untung pas di salon gak nangis ta pungutin lagi rambutku itu *lebay..
hhaha :D

itu pendeekk..
sangat pendek.. -.-

tapi enak se, kepala jadi enteng :D

how do it looks ?

dan mama adalah orang pertama yang ngeyel bilang kalo itu BAGUS !
ok, as you wish mom..

I know you're somewhere out there

Somewhere far away

I want you back

I want you back

My neighbors think

I'm crazy

But they don't understand

You're all I have

You're all I have

At night when the stars

light up my room

I sit by myself

Talking to the Moon

Trying to get to You

In hopes you're on

the other side

Talking to me too

Or am I a fool

who sits alone

Talking to the moon

I'm feeling like I'm famous

The talk of the town

They say

I've gone mad

Yeah

I've gone mad

But they don't know

what I know

Cause when the

sun goes down

someone's talking back

Yeah

They're talking back

At night when the stars

light up my room

I sit by myself

Talking to the Moon

Trying to get to You

In hopes you're on

the other side

Talking to me too

Or am I a fool

who sits alone

Talking to the moon

Do you ever hear me calling?

Cause every night

I'm talking to the moon

Still trying to get to you

In hopes you're on

the other side

Talking to me too

Or am I a fool

who sits alone

Talking to the moon

I know you're somewhere out there

Somewhere far away

PS: love this song so much, wondering if he knows that this song is for him

hope so. :')

Semangat kamu besar sekali dalam mengejar sesuatu yang diinginkan.
Kenapa? Seperti tak ada kata menyerah. 

Tapi kamu sangat ngemong dan peduli pada masalah orang lain.
Di luar itu, kamu sangat seksi, bergairah, setia dan penuh semangat dalam membina hubungan meski kadang posesif dan pencemburu. 

There’s this boy, the one and only wonder of this world. And it don’t matter if the road gets rough if me rich or poor. He stay down with me if me go to war. Love you cause you are, every single star. In the constellation, that’s enlightening my heart. Special gift from Jah, wherever you are. Boy you got more presence than a hundred santa clauses, And I know we’ll stand together when the world falls down. And I know that our forever’s gonna start right now. There’s this boy, the one and only wonder of this world. And it don’t matter if the road gets rough if me rich or poor. He stay down with me if  me go to war. There’s this boy, the one and only wonder of this world. And it don’t matter if the road gets rough if me rich or poor. He stay down with me till we in the floor. These are hardest times, love’s so hard to find. Blessed is the girl who has a boy at his side. This for you I write, never do me wrong. If you’re ever missing me just listen to this song. And you know we lay together when the sun goes down. And I know still be together when it comes back ’round. Boy give me everything I need. He’s there every time I call upon her, ya know? My boy, it’s YOU…

kedengarnya gampang ya ? 

tapi kita sering lupa tentang satu hal ini..

pernahkah kita..

bersyukur karena pagi ini masih bisa menghirup udara pagi

bersyukur karena hari ini masih bisa sarapan,

padahal banyak anak di luar sana yang gabisa makan

bersyukur karena hari ini masih bisa pake baju dan sepatu yang layak buat sekolah,

padahal di luar sana banyak yang seragamnya compang.camping dan pake sandal ke sekolah

bersyukur berangkat sekolah naik kendaraan,

padahal banyak yang sekolah harus jalan 10km dan berangkat pagi.pagi buta

bersyukur karena buku.buku pelajaran.mu lengkap,

padahal banyak yang sekolah pake 1 buku buat 8 mata pelajaran

bersyukur karena masih punya uang jajan,

padahal banyak yang rela ga dikasih uang jajan biar bisa bayar uang sekolah

bersyukur karena masih bisa jalan jalan pas liburan,

padahal banyak yang kerja pas liburan biar tetep bisa sekolah taun berikut.nya

dan masih sangat banyak hal yang harus kita syukuri dalam hidup..

kata papa, " banyak bersyukur itu bikin hidup terasa lebih nikmat.. "

:)